Zette

Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.

Abraham Lincoln

We all want happiness. Even more, we want the secret formula for how to create it.

This vital human experience is as elusive as it is visceral and as personal as it is universal. We all know when we feel it but when it comes to describing or defining it, words often fall short.

And, as the saying goes, ‘happiness is fleeting.’ This is especially true when it’s bound up in the conditions of life or the actions of others. Happiness, in its most reliable form, rises up from within you.

If I’m Happy, You’re Happy

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

Gretchen Rubin

It’s pretty common to think that if you focus on making someone else happy, you’ll be happy, too. While it may seem contrary, if you don’t know what makes you happy, you’ll never really be able to make someone else happy.

If you’ve traveled by plane, no doubt you’ve heard the flight attendant give the pre-flight instructions. If trouble comes and the air masks drop down, be sure to put yours on before attempting to help anyone else.

The recipe for happiness is pretty similar. Make sure your happiness is on before you attempt to help others. That way you won’t find yourself drained, confused, and, well, unhappy.

Chasing Happiness

Happiness is not a goal…it’s the by-product of a life well-lived.

Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that happiness is ‘out there,’ something to be achieved, pursued, or caught. If that’s true, then you should be able to run fast enough to catch it. Unfortunately, all that effort usually leaves you empty-handed and short of breath.

You’ll never arrive because its true nature arises from what you experience inside of you.

Begin by shifting your mind into more full awareness of the present. This mindfulness holds a powerful key. Instead of looking outside of yourself, attend to this moment and ask yourself how you’re feeling. Observe and acknowledge what comes.

In this moment of quiet observation, check in with your values. They’re guideposts that point your way toward experiencing more positive emotions. See how the current situation either nurtures or conflicts with your values. This is the inner version of putting on your air mask first.

5 Ways to Find Happiness

There actually is a recipe for happiness. It’s simple but it requires time and attention. It starts with the center of who you are and expands out into the world, eventually encompassing all of life. Here are the 5 key ingredients:

1. Take time to become clear about what qualities you value most in yourself and others.
2. Become familiar with which situations create positive or negative emotions within you. Consider how you can choose to experience positive ones more often.
3. View the negative ones as opportunities to develop greater clarity about what gets in the way of your happiness.
4. Connect to your life purpose in order to experience a sense of meaning and fulfillment along with those positive emotions.
5. Once you have your happiness on, you are ready to share it with others.

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Getting your body moving doesn’t have to hurt. And caring for yourself with fitness doesn’t mean that you have to run a marathon or push a tractor tire across a gym.

In fact, there’s lots of evidence that shows that excessive exercise does more harm than good. While it’s essential to be active. It’s also important to choose to do it in a way that creates the most effective conditions for health and healing.

The World Health Organization reports that 1.9 million deaths per year are attributed to physical inactivity. In July of 2012, The Lancet, a leading expert on global health, called physical inactivity “a pandemic with far-reaching health, economic, environmental and social consequences.”

Since then, the trend has only continued and become worse. On the other hand, intense exercise has been shown to decrease well-being, due in part to the fact that it increases inflammation in your body.

You will need to incorporate three different perspectives as you grow your new practice of self-care through movement,

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✴ MIND:

Be fully conscious of how powerful this low-impact, low-stress plan is. What you believe about the benefit of an activity directly affects the outcome.

For example, a  study of hotel housekeepers demonstrated that the ones who had been taught about the benefits of their activity during work actually lost inches and pounds. The others, who had not been taught about the benefits  but did the same exact amount of activity, did not lose any.

✴ BODY: 

A Japanese study focused on walking, which tends to be among the easiest exercises to perform, no matter what your age or fitness level, and it can also be turned into an effective high intensity exercise. Don’t let the phrase high intensity interval training or HIIT, as it is known, scare you off. The important element is the difference in the two intensities, not so much that the high intensity be grueling and painful. In fact, it can be quite pleasant and yet deliver the highest quality of health benefits at the same time.

✴ LOVE:

If you find it difficult to make time to walk, think about someone you love very  much for whom you want to be around and be healthy. Look at a photo of them or bring them up in your mind. Think about how much you love them and want to be there to spend time with them. Then, see yourself doing the Intermittent Intensity Walking Practice. Picture their face smiling with happiness that you’re taking care of yourself.

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Intermittent Intensity Walking Practice

This practice is as easy as 1-2-3.

1. Simply walk for 3 minutes at a speed that feels like you are late for something and trying to make up the time, like you’re late for the bus.
2. Then, stroll as if you have all the time in the world for the next 3 minutes.
3. Alternate this pattern for approximately 30 minutes each day for at least 5 days per week.

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It’s not that gurus don’t have something of value to offer. It’s not that gurus aren’t great sources of insight and resources.

The real truth is that the guru you need most is already INSIDE YOU. And this can be uncomfortable, like grit in an oyster. On the other hand, it’s exactly how you, too, can create your own iridescent, shimmering pearl. The discomfort, the tightness, and the irritation are all the inspiration for you to create the treasure of your own life.

It’s very natural to imagine that ‘the solution,’ ‘the fix,’ ‘the secret sauce’ is somewhere ‘out there’ and it’s also very appealing. Surely there’s someone who knows how to make these uncomfortable feelings stop.

Nothing in your early conditioning (read social/mental/emotional training) said otherwise. In fact, the most typical story handed down by nearly every parent, religious, and educational authority depended on you believing and not questioning this.

They weren’t necessarily trying to harm you or brainwash you. Every single one of them had a reason to want or need you to buy the story that you weren’t

the expert of your own life.

Some of those were good reasons, others not so much. I think you can pretty much tell the difference by now. If you do have trouble telling them apart, that’s a really good sign that the conditioning is still driving your thoughts and actions and it’s time to consider a new perspective.

You’re Not Listening

Here’s another jarring truth: even when you find a guru you like, you’re not actually listening to them.

Nope.

The only reason any of what they say rings true is precisely because you already know it inside of you. It just helps to hear it in a different voice, with a different face, at a particular time.

Imagine a caterpillar. It doesn’t even know what a butterfly is, yet it contains within itself everything it needs to become one. You are just like that.

As a coach, I know who the real guru of your life is and I use proven tools and resources so that you can see it too. I equip and support you in bringing your most successful and satisfying story to life. I see the pearl and the butterfly just waiting for you to shift your perspective.

I won’t be your guru. Instead, I will make it safe for you to be your own.