Zette Harbour

Mar 14 2021

Episode 2 The Story of Stories

It’s easy for our stories to appear to be WHO we are rather than what they truly are. Your stories are disguises.

My book, Love Lies Beneath: How Reclaiming My Soul Through Story Became The Secret To Healing My Heart is available in paperback and as a Kindle at Amazon.

Learn how they lead you back to the Love that Lies Beneath. Bring your Kind Curiosity, be open to the Story Wisdom, and listen to the voice of your Soul.

Transcript

0:02
Welcome to Love Lies Beneath. I’m Zette Harbour. I’m glad to have you here. Do you feel like stress, fear or pain take up way too much of your energy? Have you wondered if you’ll ever be free of that heaviness of your past? Do you long to feel as good on the inside as your life looks on the outside?

0:44
In this podcast, you’ll discover the story of who you really are, and how to set yourself free. Together, we’re going to travel into those wild spaces of our inner landscapes, and dive deeply into the rich soil of our lives, reclaiming Soul through Story and healing our Hearts. My book, Love Lies Beneath is the map. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you don’t miss any of this enriching journey. And now, let the adventure begin.

1:42
In Episode Two, we will explore what it is about Story that makes it so powerful that makes us believe that it’s not just a thing, it’s who we are. I’ve been a professional, traditional storyteller for almost 30 years. And for me, what that looked like was immersing myself in folklore from all around the world. What I found there is that these stories that are 1000s of years old, tell what it is to be human. And, of course, the different circumstances in the stories, the environments, the cultural traditions, the names of things even will be different. But what continues to be a thread is, what are those really deep human trials and joys that we all experience.

2:45
And seeing all of that within these folktales really showed me that I could start to look at the stories in my own life in the same way. So rather than believing that it was the way things were, the truth of the universe… For example, when I was about four years old, my parents got divorced. And this was mid 60s. And at that time, it wasn’t uncommon for only one parent to get custody. Of course, I didn’t know any of this at the time. What I did know was that suddenly, seemingly overnight, my father vanished, and with him, his entire family, my grandparents, he had, I think, six brothers and sisters, a number of them had children. It just seemed like this entire tribe of people disappeared from my life in an instant.

3:53
And it also wasn’t unusual not to be able to talk about that kind of loss and grief and pain. Certainly my mother must have felt that moving away and cutting us off from everyone was a good thing. And therefore, why would she imagine that for me, it was deeply, deeply painful. As a result of being left alone with that overwhelming loss and grief, I began to create stories. And those stories started to center around the idea that it must have been me, there must have been something wrong with me or missing or defective in me. I mean, why else would all of those people suddenly decide that I wasn’t worth keeping in their life?

4:45
And that’s a natural thing for a child mind to begin to imagine, is true. So what happened was my mind took information. The fact that all these people were gone. I added my emotions which were deep grief and loss, and fear, and sadness, and pain. And that information plus those emotions became my story. And the way that I was able to manage what was pretty overwhelmingly sad, and confusing for a four or five year old, was to believe that this story was the truth, the truth of who I am. I am not worthy. I am not enough. I do not matter.

5:56
Of course, as an adult, I learned the facts of the situation, which were that my mother made the choice to not allow anyone from my dad’s family to communicate with me and my older sister. So that was a really important piece of information that my child mind did not have. As an adult, I’m able to look back and understand that each adult in that situation made the choice that they thought was the best in that moment.

6:30
And that’s how we can begin to have Story, open doors for us, to allow us to be released to become free of the burdens of our past, the self doubt, the inner criticism, the self loathing, and the reluctance to really nurture and care for ourselves.

7:05
I was in a Facebook group, and someone was talking about how they were struggling to destory their limiting beliefs. This was a phrase that was developed by the leader of the group, Christy Marie Sheldon, and I loved it because destory is an anagram of destroy. By destorying. We are basically taking the batteries out of the Furby so that it will be deactivated and no longer able to turn on without warning in the middle of the night waking us out of a sound sleep, afraid. I saw her post about the struggle she was having to destory. And suddenly, I saw an image and it became another story. And that is Part One Chapter One of my book, Love Lies Beneath.

8:08
I’m going to read it to you now. Part One, The Map, The Story of Stories. I want to tell you something that may surprise you. The stories you have about yourself are disguises. They come from love that’s buried inside, beneath your conscious idea of who you think you are. Within them, you will find the answer to every question you have about your life. You will also discover the healing balm for every wound you have ever endured.

9:03
All of our lives. We have been telling stories about who we are, what has happened to us and what we have done. I believe that at the core of who you are, you are a collection of stories. You arrived here with the right to choose what those stories are. and empowering, inspiring and evolving stories let you see just how many choices you have and how powerful you can be. Let me begin by telling you one of those stories.

9:39
Once upon a time, you were a being of pure love and light, you set out on a journey to a strange and wondrous land. It was everything you had hoped for. However, in order to travel in this new place, you had to cover your being with a variety of disguises. And everyone else around you did the same. The disguises were all so good. Everyone forgot they were only coverings and began to feel, think and act in ways that made them seem even more real. You became so good at your disguises you even convinced yourself.

10:20
Then one day, you heard yourself calling out. It was a quiet voice at first coming from deep inside, the other beings around you played their part in helping you to hear the voice more clearly. It got louder and louder, until you could no longer turn away from it. It hurt to listen to it. And it hurt more to try to ignore it. It was the voice telling you about your disguises. It was telling you about who you really are. But your disguises had become so familiar, even the painful ones that you didn’t want to let go.

11:04
Then one day, you chose to try an experiment. You stopped arguing with the voice and let what it was saying be true for just a moment. Something about it felt right. It felt the way a light feels on a darkened pathway to your home. It was a small bit of light, and you still couldn’t see your home. But something inside you knew it was there. And now you wanted more light and more time to walk on that path. You wanted to find your way home. With each step, a piece of your disguises fell off.

11:45
At first, this felt scary because you could feel things you had been shielded from for a long time. Then the sensations became exhilarating. You also had to rediscover yourself every time, which was wonderful, although sometimes frustrating. Then, as each piece of your disguises dropped off and fell to the wayside. Your story about who you genuinely are felt lighter, pure and more whole. This was exactly why you’d come here in the first place. And now you could remember it all.

12:21
Now you could wear your disguises anytime you wanted to, as they served you in your travels. And now you knew they weren’t real, they were a choice. And you could choose to wear them or release them at any time. Finally, you would never again forget the story of who you truly were a being of pure love and light on a journey in a strange and wondrous land. That was everything you’d hoped for. The Beginning.

13:20
If you are a collection of stories, and if you arrived here with the right to choose what those stories are, then who would you be? If you understood that the beliefs that you have about yourself, particularly the ones that limit you, keep you small, make you feel afraid, make you feel sad, that tell the story of your wounding. If you knew that that was a disguise that could be set down so that the truth of who you are, could be revealed, what would be different in your life?

14:03
And what do you need to bring into your life to support you in releasing these disguises, in shedding those stories? And it can be really tempting to look at our painful stories, those ugly parts of our disguises and hate them or resent them or reject them. And what we’ll find as we go through this podcast is that those stories were born from a place of deep love and that this love understood that you needed to wear that disguise for a time and this love knew that you would reach a point in your life where you are ready to release the disguise and really allow the light, deep within you, the light that burns brightly within you all the time that you would be ready to let that light beam out into the world fully.

15:24
I invite you to bring that kind curiosity with you as you see the stories that you feel right now are painful or limiting. Feel kindness toward the part of you that felt that they were an important piece of your disguise at some time. Be willing to be curious about the love that lies beneath the stories. And as you do, you will begin to see and receive the Story Wisdom. And it is that Story Wisdom that is the key to reclaiming your Soul and healing your Heart.

16:07
I’m glad that you were here today. And I look forward to our journey into this land of story, which is the gateway to those inner wild landscapes, where you will find the richness of who you truly are. Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast. You don’t want to miss any part of this enriching adventure. I’m Zette Harbour. Go raibh míle maith agat!

Mar 13 2021

Episode 1 Let The Adventure Begin

Explore the power of Story to transform who you believe yourself to be, how you experience the world, and to shift your place within it.

My book, Love Lies Beneath: How Reclaiming My Soul Through Story Became The Secret To Healing My Heart is available in paperback and as a Kindle at Amazon.

I’m your host and story guide, Zette Harbour. Over the course of this podcast, we’ll dive deeply into the rich soil of our lives, connecting to those places that have been calling you home.

Transcript

1:46
In this first episode, we’ll begin the exploration of how our beliefs about who we think we are, far too often limit who we can be. And that these beliefs keep us from connecting to the love that lies beneath. So what do I mean when I say Love lies Beneath? This is the idea that if we dive deeply enough into those things that cause us that stress, fear and pain, if we dive deeply enough, and connect to the origin of those stories, that we will always find that those stories were created out of love. They were created from a place that wanted to protect us, keep us safe, and willingly took pieces of us and saved them so that later on as adults with support, and resources and wisdom, we would be able to dive back in and reconnect to them and bring them home.

2:53
There are signs that will tell you that you have parts of yourself locked away, buried in some dark corner of your Soul, waiting for you to come see, greet, embrace, appreciate and love them. Those signs are that on the outside, you probably look like a successful, positive person, 0n the inside, though, you’ve got self-doubt, self-criticism. And you know that if other people knew what you know about you, that they would not think of you the same way.

3:31
Some of the signs that you have these parts of yourself buried waiting for you to come and greet them, see them, embrace them, appreciate and love them are that on the outside, you look like an accomplished positive person. You are committed to making an impact in the world in a really good way despite the fact that inside you carry this burden of self-doubt, self-criticism. You have a really hard time prioritizing, taking care of yourself, nurturing yourself, and loving yourself.

4:11
This means that you end up coping, just trying to get by, trying not to let the stress, the fear, and the pain stop you. And yet the entire time, it’s as if you are dragging heavy weights along behind you. So in this podcast, we’re gonna explore ways to help you make the person you project to the world. match what’s inside you, or really to take what’s inside you and have it match who you believe yourself to be, who you want the world to think you are, and who you know you are capable of being.

4:53
You’re not alone. You know, we all have a story about who we are, about the world, and our place in it. Those stories come over our lifetime. It’s as if the events of our lives are stones, and the emotions we have about those events are like the mortar that we use to take those stones and build walls. And those walls can be something that lifts you up and let you see greater beauty. Or they can be something behind which you hide, afraid, not wanting to let anyone get closer.

5:29
As we begin our journey, there’s three things I want you to think about and carry with you. The first is kind curiosity. And this phrase really speaks to you being willing to be as kind toward yourself, as you are to so many others, and to approach the stories that you find within yourself with a kind curiosity. Meaning that you want to learn what it is that the story is trying to tell you. What richness what wisdom lies within it.

6:03
And that leads to the second thing. That’s Story Wisdom. This is the idea that every story no matter how simple, no matter how mundane, in fact, no matter how ugly, a story is, it has within it great wisdom, it is rich with this wisdom. And in order to receive it, all you have to do is grow a new way of seeing.

6:30
And then the third thing, I want to talk about the word Soul. I use the word Soul a lot. This is the ‘I am’ that existed before the world had a chance to impact you. It’s found deep down in the soil of your life. And that’s where the richness of who you are lives.

6:59
So now, let me read a section from my book. It’s the Introduction. It’s called Story & Misdirection.

7:07
in Buddhist lore, there is a story about Mara and his followers seeing a man who had just experienced a moment of awa kening and wonder. As Mara’s role is to create disharmony and deception, it surprised the disciples to see their leader walk on without disturbing the joyous man. They wanted to know what it was that held that man so rapturously.

7:33
“Mara replied, A piece of truth.

7:37
Doesn’t this bother you when someone finds a piece of truth, oh, evil one? his attendants asked.

7:43
No , Mara replied, Right after this, they usually make a belief out of it.”

7:50
This delightful story from the Buddhist tradition illuminates instantly the question of enlightenment versus belief. This story shines a light so thoroughly, yet in such an unassuming m anner. This may be the greatest gift that Story itself holds for us. It is like a magician who tells us to look one way while switching cards with the other hand. Story can offer us the perfect amount of misdirection until the trick is revealed. We are educated about our assumptions, and the opposite and complimentary truth in one Swift, jovial blow.

8:29
Here, we are initiated into the truth that where there is light, there is an accompanying darkness. There is balance in all things. Often, our cultural paradigm tells us there is only Yang, only light, only striving, only creating, even such things as beliefs. This story points to the shadow realm of ideas without dogma and moments of insight without a concrete story to which they become anchored. We all know what happens when we anchor something. It doesn’t move with the currents, providing safety and stagnation at the same time.

9:10
As you enter the world of story within this book, take these questions with you. They are invitations to a new way of seeing your inner and outer worlds. What is it like to live a life where we may carry a look of wonder on our face without creating a belief about it to explain or justify its value? Can we live freely upon the currents? If we must anchor for a time, will we remember how to become released.

9:59
I discovered this story in one of my all time favorite books, called Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart, edited by Christina Feldman and Jack Kornfield. When I read this story, it made me laugh out loud. I r ecognize myself immediately, I too have had those moments where I went from an awareness, a discovery, an enlightenment, a piece of joy, to creating some sort of concrete structure that helped explain what it was I had been feeling.

10:34
And we can do this, not just with those moments of enlightenment and joy, we also do it with those moments of pain, stress and fear. In fact, when we do it in response to those negative feelings, it’s really to help ourselves, stay safe to protect us. So the thing that I have discovered, and that I want to explore here in this podcast is, are these three questions.

11:05
What is it like to live a life and to feel those feelings, whether positive or negative, without creating a belief to explain or justify its value?

11:19
And what what is it like to live freely on the currents of my own life?

11:25
And if I must anchor for a time, how do I remember to become released?

11:33
So that’s where we’re headed with this podcast. I am really excited that you have joined me and I look forward to future episodes. I hope to actually speak to many of you and have you on the show. sharing your story, sharing stories about how you also dove down into the rich soil of your life, connecting to the Love that lies beneath.

12:02
I’m Zette Harbour. Don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast. You don’t want to miss any bit of this adventure. I look forward to seeing you next time. Go raibh míle maith agat!