Increase success for you and those around you in just seven days.
S.E.A.L. is a deceptively simple practice that creates clarity, self-knowledge, and acceptance.
First, it’s important to understand that it’s natural to feel some level of threat from unexpected and unpleasant changes caused by people, events, and conditions.
After all, navigating these changes requires:
The natural, normal response to stress, fear, or pain is to turn away and find a way to avoid it. In fact, everything you’ve learned from family, school, society, and work reinforces the belief that the smart choice is to reject those feelings. Allowing yourself to feel stressed, afraid, and pained is to allow yourself to become a victim. And that just won’t do.
So What Will Do?
Showing up for your experiences of stress, fear, and pain requires you to accept that you are vulnerable. Yes, that did just happen TO you. You’ve just been hit with some unexpected vulnerability and now you need to do something about it.
Start with seeing this experience from a different perspective. It’s possible that the scariest part isn’t actually the disturbing experience itself. The true villain in this story may be your awareness that anything can happen to you at any time and you won’t always be able to prevent or fix it.
Allowing yourself to see the truth of your innate vulnerability dissolves the rigid cornerstones of a story about yourself that you’ve come to believe is true.
You’ve been conditioned to believe the story that you can…
- Control what happens to you
- Take responsibility
- Fix what’s wrong
- Solve the problem so it won’t happen again
Right now, you’re probably saying to yourself, ‘So what’s wrong with that? This is just how successful leaders get things done.’
The problem is that this story was created in response to unsafe situations that felt beyond your control which could have been on a physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual level. Typically, this would have occurred when you didn’t feel much if any, power over your life.
This limiting story was designed, installed, and camouflaged in earlier times when your Rational Intelligence was your best hope of dealing with threats. And while it’s built on some essential truths of who you are, it’s tangling them just enough to create a cushion against being hurt. And that limits who you think you are and how you can be.
It’s an expression of your superpowers of
These, in turn, emerge from your core gifts of
These gifts are the roots of who you truly are, and they make it possible for your story to be dynamic, vibrant, resilient and filled with life so you actually have power over your experiences. The trick here is to untangle the threads so you can enjoy the bounty of your gifts without limiting your choices.
Think & Be Different
This requires an entirely different approach to how you feel in response to stress, fear, and pain. You’ll need to be willing to approach your undesirable feelings with kind curiosity. Next, you’ll open your arms and embrace them. Then, you’ll allow yourself to feel appreciation. And finally, be willing to anoint them with the blessing of your love.
There’s a 4-step practice that makes it possible to experience rooted balance in the face of unpredictable vulnerability. It’s called S.E.A.L.
It’s a process that opens your perception just enough to shift your relationship to unwanted experiences and the feelings they stir up. Your feelings, themselves, aren’t bad. It’s the self-protective stories in the form of thoughts and beliefs that can get in your way in the future.
As you allow yourself to see, embrace, appreciate, and love your feelings about who or what caused you to lose your balance, you shift your fundamental stories. As a result, being grounded in your sense of self becomes more important than being in control. Like a tree with healthy roots, you are secure whatever the weather brings.
I see you.
I embrace you.
I appreciate you.
I love you.
Say these four statements to yourself whenever you notice feelings of stress, fear, or pain. It’s probably easiest to start with stressful feelings where the stakes don’t seem as high. You’re speaking to your feelings, not the person or situation that caused them.
‘I see you.’ When you tell yourself that you won’t turn away from your unpleasant or even unacceptable feelings, you’re letting that part of you know she’s worthy. You’re acknowledging that she matters. This creates trust and reduces the tension around whatever is causing the feelings.
‘I embrace you.’ Now, you’re letting her know that she’s a welcome guest. You’re not shaming or blaming her to get her to disappear. You’re letting her know that she’s home where she belongs.
‘I appreciate you.’ Here’s where you move beyond recognition and acceptance to gratitude for the wisdom she’s holding for you. She’s doing the unpleasant job of bringing your attention to some hidden, limiting story. Thanking her eases friction around receiving the gifts of your experience.
‘I love you.’ Finally, you let her know that she’s a cherished part of your inner self. Even more, you’re communicating your desire for her to keep letting you know when something needs to be tended to. You’re more whole and your presence in the world is more powerful.
This process is probably the polar opposite of what you’ll have been told most of your life. It’s much more likely that you’ve heard and adopted the mantras of:
- “Get over it!”
- “It’s not so bad!”
- “Don’t be weak!”
- “Suck it up and it will go away!”
- “Don’t give in to the negative feelings or they’ll get out of control!”
- “You just need to figure out how to fix this.”
- “Next time, you just need to pay more attention and try harder.”
And, you’ll have gotten positive reinforcement from the external world encouraging you to stick with these beliefs. All the while, you’ll be getting messages from your body letting you know that something isn’t quite right.
Your 7-Day Challenge Steps
- Download this S.E.A.L. Guide.
- Set up an appointment or multiple reminders in your calendar for 7 consecutive days to remind you of the four statements.
- Once a day, sit and write what you observe about each instance when you recite them to yourself in response to those moments when you feel stress, fear, or pain.
- Notice any thoughts that you have believed to be true but that have created limiting feelings.
- Notice any shifts in your thoughts about yourself in response to saying the four statements.
- Enjoy a Virtual Coffee Date with me and share your experiences and results, or have your questions answered.