I’d forgotten because the world wanted me to forget.
Instead, it wanted me to believe a story that I was small and weak,
And that having the ability to sense and feel were flaws.
The world wanted me to believe that being soft was a problem…my problem.
It told me in no uncertain terms to comply or face dire consequences like ridicule, punishment, or even abuse.
You see, it all began when I was young and vulnerable.
Back then, I had no choice but to accept the stories that said I shouldn’t feel so much, care so deeply, and especially, want to be loved more fully than was being offered.
To defy what I was being told was to risk my life, emotionally, and maybe even physically.
This was my original betrayal.
And so I did the best that my young mind could.
I sacrificed pieces of myself so that I could make my life, and hopefully the world, a better place.
Then, I created more stories to help me justify giving up parts of myself.
The stories I created became woven into the fabric of my identity.
They were the stories that kept enough of me intact so that I could live the life I did.
They were the stories that allowed me to at least pretend to ignore my pain and suffering as long as I could in order to get by.
You see, once upon a time,
I’d set sail full of innocence and promise trusting that those who were sailing the ship of my young life were skillful and qualified.
Unfortunately, not so much.
Along the way, I endured more than one shipwreck, some of them life-threatening.
And like a survivor of a shipwreck, I’d long to reach the safety of the shore but unseen currents below kept me from ever reaching land.
Instead, I clung to the flotsam and jetsam of the broken vessel to keep myself from disappearing into the depths.
I felt the pain of the struggle, the burning of the thirst to be released, and the hopelessness of the seemingly impossible.
And so my hope, and suffering, went on with no end in sight.
Along the way, I hurt others, I hurt myself.
Until, I discovered a way to soothe the pain of the betrayals and…
To ease my burden of shame.
Finally, I realized that it was absolutely within my grasp to set down my suffering and…
Live the amazing life that is my destiny.
The journey began by learning the stories that had saved me.
I’d clung to them for so long I’d almost forgotten that they were bits and pieces of wreckage.
No matter how waterlogged and heavy they might have been,
They had kept me from drowning.
I’d relied on them to keep me afloat in the choppy seas of my life for so long that the idea of letting them go felt frightening.
However, when the Truth came, I wasn’t afraid anymore.
The Truth that I was now free to remember was that I was born to swim.
The Truth is that my ability to feel deeply, to know intuitively, and to care fiercely, were in fact, my superpowers.
Deep down I’d always known it.
Remembering the Truth set me free.
I don’t just tread water anymore.
I get to leap and splash and dive into the depths and bring back the treasures of my inner sea.
Because the depths are where I’ve come from and where I’m always welcomed and cherished.
And that’s when I knew that it was completely possible to live my real story,
To free myself of the pain of those original betrayals, and
Shed the burden of shame.
To joyfully and lovingly celebrate the beauty that is me.
It was the moment that I discovered the secret…
When I heard the call of the depths…
A voice reminding me of my true home…
That’s when I began to feel the debris of my earlier shipwrecks begin to release their hold on me.
It was in following the call that I found the path I’d been seeking for a very long time.
It was this journey that soothed my pain, eased the burden of my shame, and opened my heart to loving and celebrating myself.